election humor

Trump’s first 10 days in office will be riveting

President-elect Donald Trump will take office in just a few months. We don’t need everyone’s vote to count equally, we’re just going to use a super outdated system of voting that “prevents the tyranny of the majority” — making sure Southerners could get equal representation even though slaves couldn’t vote.

As most political analysts do, I wanted to predict what Trump’s first 100 days in office would be like. So, using The Daily Orange’s time machine, I went to the future, to Friday, Jan. 21, the day after Trump’s inauguration, to see what his first 100 days in office would be like.

When I was there, I realized 100 days is a long time, so I texted my editor and she said I only had to stay for the first 10 days. So, this is how Trump’s first 10 days in office will go.

Day One: The Trump family has been moved in. Last night, like a college freshman on their first night, he slept in the hotel — luckily there’s a Trump Hotel nearby. The majority of the day was filled with introductory meetings with his cabinet and other White House staff members. Instead of getting right down to business, Trump started off with the name game, along with a few other icebreakers. These were played for the majority of the meetings.

Day Two: President Trump took calls with many foreign leaders, including Angela Merkel, Vladimir Putin, Justin Trudeau and many more. When British Prime Minister Theresa May called, Trump was confused and asked if she was the queen.



Day Three: The president went over to Capitol Hill to meet with Paul Ryan and a few Republican party leaders. He asked why all of them also lived in a big white house.

Day Four: President Trump spent a good hour trying to find the Oval Office. The White House is big, especially when you didn’t build it yourself.

Day Five: The president of Mexico, Enrique Pena Nieto, called and got very frustrated when he had to “press one for English.”

Day Six: The president was briefed on everything about Area 51. He voiced his concern that he would have to learn about 50 other areas as well.

Day Seven: The president rested today. When the first lady asked why, he misquoted: “On the seventh day, gods rest.”

Day Eight: President Trump went over potential Supreme Court nominees. A few national judges were on the list, but Judge Judy was definitely on there too.

Day Nine: The president took questions from the media today. When asked, “What happened to repealing the Affordable Care Act on your first day in office?” he responded, “Oh, yeah I said that, didn’t I? I’ll get on that.” It was truly a don’t-ask-the-teacher-if-there’s-any-homework type of moment.

Day 10: President Trump will be impeached within the next day. Mr. Trump didn’t realize you couldn’t take tax money for yourself as president. This may be the end of his presidency.

I wish I could have stayed for longer than 10 days, but I bet President Trump wishes that too. On to President Mike Pence.

Josh Feinblatt is a sophomore television, radio, and film major. He wanted to use the time machine to go back and convince Joe Biden to run. He can be reached at jfeinbla@syr.edu.





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